Do you believe in sky pixies?

You really should believe in sky pixies! I've got this neat book that talks all about them. I haven't read it thoroughly, but my friend tells me it's got some really great stuff. This book is really old, and tells you how to live your life. We can't listen to all of it though, some of it is just a bit silly or outdated. But it's the truth, I swear! Besides, these sky pixies like it when you believe in them. In fact, they invite you to live with them in their castles in the sky when you die if you believe they exist! But these pixies also know that bad people deserve to be hurt forever. If you don't want to believe in these sky pixies, that makes you a bad person. You don't want to be bad, do you?

Besides, if there were no sky pixies, how would we know what was bad and what was good? The Book of Sky Pixies makes it all so clear! Just follow most of the rules in there - although not many of the old ones - and you'll be guaranteed to live with the sky pixies when you die! Anyway, do you think rainbows happen on their own? That dew spreads itself over everything? I can't think of any other way for those to happen.

One thing though... The Book of Sky Pixies tell us that some types of people are always bad. These people can never go to live with the sky pixies unless they stop doing those really bad things, and start doing what the Book of Sky Pixies says to do. If they don't, they go to the hurting place forever. So we should make laws, to save people from being hurt forever when they die. The Sky Pixies would like that!

This is what religious claims sound like to me.